Happiness in Singleness

“If you ain’t happy singling with Jesus, then you ain’t gonna be happy being married with Jesus” – voichik

Years ago, I often think, “If I had someone by my side, I would be happy and I would feel loved.” The thought may be right, but it should not be the driving force for one person to be in a relationship. It should not be because ‘others had theirs, so I had to’ or ‘I’m almost 30, maybe then I should start settling down.’

I have learned from people around me that marriage life is not that easy. It’s hard. It would put you in times of giving up, letting go or simply running away. It would put you times of regrets and tears. On the other hand, it would also bring you joy and happiness. But the more happiness you get, the more struggles and challenges come.

A few years ago when my Auntie visited us here in Bicol, she told me, ‘if you can’t be happy being single, then you would not be happy being married.’ Then, as I was watching Unstoppable, he said ‘if u aint happy singling in jesus then u ain't gonna be happy being married with Jesus.’ Both mean the same – happiness in singlehood.

I tried to put things all together, then evaluate myself. If I continue to push God to give the person for me at my present state, ‘would I be happy? Would I be contented?’ I don’t know - maybe yes or maybe no.  One or two years of being single would not be an answer to being enough of being happy in singlehood.

It is a conviction to oneself.  To be happy is a choice. It’s not being prone to falling in-love and those ‘kilig’ moments. You might feel ‘kilig’ in one point and then disappointed in another. But keep hoping.

It’s also surrendering yourself to God. Trusting Him of the possibilities of your plans. Start your day with a prayer and a daily communion with God.

It is not worrying for your future – to be married or not. It is not about the past – hurts, regrets or the old you. Stop looking at the future, at your past, at your left or at your right – start looking Up! (Voichik, Unstoppable)  It is growing in your present state – growing to be a good partner with God and letting Him in control.

It is not assuming someone likes you just because they are being nice to you. Just like Ramon Baustista said in his book, ‘ Bakit di ka crush ng crush mo?’ Wag Mong isipin na gusto ka nya hanggat di siya nag-iilove you. Do not assume unless otherwise stated. It is not closing doors to others so that you’ll just open one door for one person – it’s being open to possibilities and opportunities.That is why there’s this ‘prospect’ belief. But if you had someone in mind, pray about it.

Now, I must think of my possibilities. I told myself, focus on what you have now; focus on priorities. Love can wait. True love waits. If it will be, it will happen. Just trust God.

I don’t think we are destined to be with someone – coz’ there is no such thing as destiny. I believe it should be put in this way- that there is only one person who complements you better – a partner in God’s hand.